Monday, November 08, 2004

Hominuh of the Week

By no means do I attempt to actually provide the Hominuh of the Week every week. I feel it would cheapen the greatness of HOTW's absurdity to let the calendar dictate my selection rather than the serendipity of coming across something worthy.

[Edit: the limits of my html skills prevent me from formatting these so they fit nicely on the template. Suffer along.]

Today's HOTW entry takes us to something that is growing to be one of my more random pet peeves--unironic prolification of the Buddy Jesus. I don't say this with any sort of anti-Christian tone, because this isn't what I consider Christanity. It's a perverse form of quickie-mart religion that manifests itself in the creepiest of places. To wit:


Fear not, little girl, for Jesus and the Clown with come unto you bearing cake and crucifixes so that your Protestant birthday party dreams may come true.

Apparently, Buddy Jesus also likes juggling:


He who doth not judge another man's bowtie is blessed in the eyes of the bowling pin. In fact, I think the juggler should have a throw down with the clown such that they can collaborate their mutual talents to form a truly great entertainment union. Not a civil union, since it wouldn't be recognized for any purpose in 11 states, but more of a business arrangement. There's probably a lot of business to be had in the fly-over states, what with the endorsement they could fanagle from their good friend and confidante, Buddy Jesus.

Did you know Buddy Jesus accompanies Rumsfeld on the putting green?


It would really piss me off to have the son of God giving my putt line-up such an editorial look. Then again, I guess you're tacitly asking for advice when you don't specify civilian clothes for everyone you invite to the links.


4 Comments:

At 4:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also, why is the Messiah such a chubster in those drawings? Do you think he looks at these drawings and runs around heaven all "oh my God (heh), do I really look that fat? I mean, I know I've gotten a little heavier since my hanging-on-the-cross-with-my-ribs-all-sticking-out days, but I didn't think I had totally let myself go. I need a cookie."

 
At 11:03 PM, Blogger Salle said...

Dude, you're so right...check it:
http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/imagesJPG/Cook.JPG

 
At 7:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

These are really, really disturbing.

First of all, clowns are scary. End of story.

Second, that juggling guy looks like Lurch. And Lurch should never juggle.

Finally, I just get freaked out about golf.

 
At 11:14 PM, Blogger Joe said...

Do they have one of silent Jesus standing outside the convenience store with Jay? Because they really should.

 

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