There’s a subcategory to People I’d Like to Kick in the Teeth that needs mention: People Who Give Completely Unsolicited Commentary and Advice. You know them, you’ve met them, please tell me you aren’t one of them. If you are, please leave my blog immediately and begin paying penance for your miserable behavior. I’m not even close to kidding, this shit is annoying and it needs to stop.

Nothing brings about a hefty dose of UC&A than smoking. Yeah, I smoke, sue me. Yes, I am well aware of the health hazards, and no, my parents didn’t totally fail. I just happen to really like smoking. Really. Okay, there’s a small part of me that also really likes sticking it to those bastards from truth.com, because the scare tactic thing is pretty over-the-top at this point. People will do what they want to do, self-destructive or not, no matter how many body bags you show them. It’s just one of those things you can either lament deeply or just plain get over. Hell, I really don’t care if you get over it, just hush it up when you see me.

Back to the main road. I am often, and by often I mean like more than once a month, approached by a total stranger while I smoke who offers his or her stance on my choice of pastime. Back in college, I had a much friendlier response battery than I do now. Back then, when someone would tell me I really should stop smoking, I would usually say (replete with big, sweet smile) “And you should really start.” It usually shut them down, but in that friendly-but-tolerably-biting way. Now, it’s not so pretty. See below:

STRANGER: You should quit.
ME: So should you.
STRANGER: But I don’t smoke…
ME: I meant your other habit.
STRANGER: Oh yeah, and what’s that?
ME: Handing out unsolicited advice.

See what an ass I’ve become? But really, people, lay off me and my cigarettes.