So I recently made reference to a list of People I'd Like to Kick in the Teeth, and it wasn't an idle tease. This list will be ever-evolving, as it would be really difficult to ever shut the editorial door on such a broad and dynamic category. Anyway, here it is in its current form.

***The Welch's Grape Juice Girl. Not the reasonably cute one of indistinguishable Asian decent--the blond freak from a few years ago. She actually started her career in commercials (okay, I first noticed her) with a dishwasher ad for Sears. She was pretty insufferable then, but nothing like the mass of despicability she became during her tenure with Welch's. Gag.

***The Dell Kid. I have no idea what affliction has stricken him such that his face must contort and spasm apparently independent of the rest of his body, but gawd. If he could dial down the crazy about 6 notches, I could probably tolerate him, but at this point I'm about at my limit. Dude, I'm getting my sledgehammer.

***The Yes-I-can-freaking-hear-you-now Guy. In the beginning, I actually thought this was mildly amusing, and sometimes even a little clever (such as the spot that appeared during the season premiere of Dawson's Creek where he stood in that boat in that creek). At this point, however, I'm over it. Not just in the I'm-over-the-mild-humor-that-once-was way, but the I'd-rather-weave-a-slinky-through-my-nasal-passages-than-see-this-dead-horse-beaten-again way. Seriously, let's give the poor corpse a rest.

***The Mazda Zoom-Zoom Kid. I never thought this child was appealing. Ever. His little voice actually creeps me out beyond words. I shudder every time I hear the music for a Mazda commercial beginning to vamp because I know it's coming....'zoom zoom.' Yick.

***Nicole Kidman. Way too much color going on here, and a consistently in-your-face display of an inordinately high self-confidence, given her rather blah career. I normally steer far and wide from any celebrity gossip and whatnot, but I'm going to have to agree that Tom definitely traded up with Penelope Cruz. Kidman never ceases to find new ways to squick me out. For exmaple, there's a scene in Eyes Wide Shut (a totally worthless movie, btw) where she stands up to wipe after going to the bathroom. I mean, she was once seated, and then advances to a fully erect, fully vertical standing position at which point she commences with the wipe and deposits the used TP behind her in the toilet. What. The. Hell.

***The aforementioned Texas car dealers and furniture fellas.

Like I said, stay tuned for updates.