'Tis a gift to be simple

It’s been a long, long time since the last time I put together the Lists of Things I Like and Things I Don’t Like. I think I stopped doing them for two reasons: a) sometimes the justifications portion of the lists take longer than my hurry-up-and-wait work day allows, and b) I’m intensely lazy and entitled. Sooo….I’m bringing back the Lists, with a facelift. In our current climate of complex and enigmatic social issues, I’m bringing a bit of sophomoric simplicity to life by polarizing it all into Good and Bad.

Good
• Elaborate breakfasts on weekend mornings
• Full-body sneezes
• Gmail
• Unexpected windfalls
• Advance meal planning that facilitates snacks
• Leaving work early
• Boxing, when done by others
• Running, when done by me
• The fearless use of passive voice
• Stevie Wonder
• Spending 40 cents more to get real Q-tips
• Bank errors in your favor
• Birth control that comes with a video game
• Potatoes
• Naps, solo
• Naps, with someone you really dig—particularly when they turn into Snaps
• Slinkys
• Inappropriate capitalization That Makes Your Point
• Free pens

Bad
• Fatigue
• Raisins
• Orange Juice
• Boredom
• Smelly garbage disposals
• Skipped meals
• Thermostats set at 68 when it’s 74 and raining outside
• Drama
• That truck that’s parked just enough over the line to make the second parking space inaccessible to everything but a Miata
• Incompetence
• Incontinence
• Impatience
• Saving 40 cents and going for fake Q-tips
• Under-eye circles
• Finding unpleasant souvenirs from the cat in the laundry basket
• Cashiers who glare
• Faucets that leak
• Houseplants that speak
• Unidentifiable odors